The Journey to Confident Communication: My Story and Tips for Public Speaking
Aisling O’ Rourke The Communications Coach giving a keynote speech in 2024.
Hello, I'm Aisling O'Rourke, and I run The Communications Coach, I've woven my life's tapestry into the art of communication. Today, I want to share not just my journey but also insights that might guide you in becoming a more confident speaker. I’m sharing this because when I host talks I am frequently asked about how I became such a confident speaker. The truth is I don’t feel confident in public speaking, I do it to a high standard because I care about what I do and have put work into building up my skills. I think many people assume that to become a good speaker I need to feel different somehow, that I shouldn’t feel nervous. I don’t believe that’s true and today I want to share why.
My Story: From Vulnerability to Strength
My path to confident speaking has been far from conventional. Diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes two weeks after my third birthday on the 17th of January 1989 it was my first life bombshell. My childhood oscillated between navigating a life-altering invisible disability and learning to voice my needs in a world that often overlooks the whispers of a child.
As an only child, I found myself frequently in adult company. Learning to articulate my thoughts amidst grown-ups wasn't a choice; it was a necessity, especially in dealing with medical professionals. These early interactions laid the groundwork for my future in communication.
At 12, a turning point came. Dr. Colm Costigan, my endocrinologist at Crumlin Children’s Hospital, began encouraging me to take charge of my medical discussions. He asked for my mum to take a backseat in our meetings and to allow me to slowly take responsibility for my wellbeing. It was a difficult transition for us both, but looking back now I understand just how much I have benefitted from Colm’s insight. This shift wasn't just about medical care; it was about advocating for myself, a skill that became invaluable.
Fast forward to adulthood, when the stakes were higher – advocating for family members in medical settings, and handling the critical situation when my father had a stroke and I subsequently became his carer. Each of these moments underscored the power of clear, confident communication under pressure. I had to take on a new persona in some ways, and demand that my loved ones were cared for and that we the caregivers understood what we needed to do as none of us were medical professionals.
Embracing Nervousness: A Different Perspective
One might assume that after years of navigating such intense situations, public speaking would be a breeze. However, I still feel nerves, that flutter in my stomach, each time I'm about to speak. But here's the secret – those nerves are not my enemy; they are a reminder that I deeply care about my message and my audience.
Tips for Confident Public Speaking
Accept and Reframe Your Nervousness:
Understand that being nervous is a natural response. Instead of fighting it, acknowledge it as a sign of your commitment to delivering a meaningful message. I would argue that if you don’t feel some element of nerves you should question why, is it because you’ve lost your passion for the topic or subject matter? Is it something deeper?
Prepare Thoroughly:
Confidence often comes from knowing your material inside out. Invest time in preparing your speech and understanding your topic.
Practice Mindfulness and Breathing Techniques:
Before taking the stage, practice deep breathing or mindfulness to centre yourself. This can significantly reduce anxiety.
Engage with Your Audience:
Make eye contact, smile, and if appropriate, ask questions. Engagement makes your speech feel more like a conversation and less like a monologue.
Seek Feedback and Reflect:
After each speaking engagement, reflect on what went well and areas for improvement. Seek constructive feedback from trusted colleagues or mentors. I recently spoke at an event and despite the many compliments, I didn’t feel like I came across in the way I wanted on the day. So since that event, I sat down and asked myself why, now I have a plan that I can incorporate into upcoming events. No one is perfect, no one gets it right all the time.
My Role in Your Journey
The experiences that shaped me, from my health struggles to my professional achievements, are embedded in my approach to communications coaching. At The Communications Coach, we understand that effective public speaking is more than just delivering words; it's about connection, empathy, and authenticity. If my story resonates with you, or if you're looking to enhance your public speaking skills, I invite you to explore our coaching programs. Our tailored approach is designed to help you find your voice, craft your message, and deliver it with confidence and clarity.
Send me an email to start your journey toward confident and impactful communication. Together, we can turn your communication challenges into opportunities for growth and connection.
Remember, every great speaker was once a beginner. The key is to start, to learn, and to grow.
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